those two little blue lines

Today is the 9-year anniversary of my blog, so I’m going to take this moment to be super real with you all.

I started the blog after finding out I was pregnant … well before I was ready to be pregnant. It’s called “Diary of a Bewildered Mother” because that’s what I have been—bewildered from the start. Motherhood is no joke, and it has never been easy for me. I’ve never felt like I actually knew what I was doing.

I have learned a few things though:

1. New moms have LOTS of opinions.
1a. 70-100% of those opinions will change eventually as these moms have more experiences.
1b. Stay away from online parenting groups as much as possible.
1c. We might think there’s a right way to do things, but honestly that’s closed-minded, and in parenting, it will set you up for disappointment.

2. Parenting means learning to be flexible. See 1c.
2a. Prepare yourself for your plans to change. Plans for your future, your next year, this evening.

3. Every child is different.
3a. Try not to compare your kids to each other or to other people’s kids.
3b. No pregnancy or birth story is the same.
3c. Your kids are not going to be just like you. However:

4. Your kids will act as mirrors, showing you what you dislike about yourself and problems you didn’t know you have.

5. Get insurance that covers therapy.
5a. We joke about kids needing therapy, but probably everyone should see a therapist at least once.
5b. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

6. God was the *perfect parent*, and yet look at Adam and Eve. You’re responsible for how you parent, but try not to guilt yourself for your kids’ bad behavior or poor decisions.
6a. I know it’s hard. Believe me. I know.

7. I’m not convinced “mommy brain” will ever go away. My brain was much more effective when it was only responsible for me. Now it’s divided by 4.

8. Always include the gift receipts.

diary of a bewildered mother

I don’t think I have ever stared at two lines for so long in my entire life, and as a graphic designer, that’s saying something. Yet here I was, in the bathroom, just gawking at the pregnancy test I had taken the night before, which was lying on the counter as some sort of defense against my denial.

“I think we should pick up a pregnancy test,” I told my Lieutenant a few days before, after I kept assuring him that, no, really, I will get period tomorrow! every day for about a week. So, after a series of unfortunate unexpected events, we were off to Walmart, the only place still open after 10. See, Natural Family Planning, our chosen method of avoiding/achieving pregnancy, is incredibly effective—so long as the wife monitors what is going on with her body and has a basal thermometer that is working. Of course, after…

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