I don’t think I have ever stared at two lines for so long in my entire life, and as a graphic designer, that’s saying something. Yet here I was, in the bathroom, just gawking at the pregnancy test I had taken the night before, which was lying on the counter as some sort of defense against my denial.
“I think we should pick up a pregnancy test,” I told my Lieutenant a few days before, after I kept assuring him that, no, really, I will get period tomorrow! every day for about a week. So, after a series of
unfortunate unexpected events, we were off to Walmart, the only place still open after 10. See, Natural Family Planning, our chosen method of avoiding/achieving pregnancy, is incredibly effective—so long as the wife monitors what is going on with her body and has a basal thermometer that is working. Of course, after a grueling month of huge projects, plus getting married and moving halfway across the country, my body was less than pleased with me. Add to that a thermometer more erratic and erroneous than a blind, deaf meteorologist, and here we are, trying to find a pregnancy test at a 24-hour Walmart.
We found the stuff in an aisle marked “family planning.” When Lieutenant looked up at the sign, he said, “That’s ironic.” Of course, in my hormonal state I thought he was being sardonic, as we had not, indeed, “planned” this. Instead, he was looking at the floor-to-ceiling selection of condoms, thinking that a more accurate label would be “Family Prevention.” We grabbed the cheapest box. Hey, it had three of them in there and they all were claiming to be over 99% accurate, so what’s the difference?
HOW TO USE:
1. Open the protective pouch IMMEDIATELY before use.
2. Remove test stick from foil package. Take off cap.
3. Hold test stick by thumb grip. Point absorbent tip downward in urine stream for 5 seconds ONLY.
IMPORTANT: ONLY 5 SECONDS.Too much or too little urine on absorbent tip may cause an Invalid Result. (See Invalid Result section.)
4. Replace cap and lay on surface with result window facing up.
HOW TO READ RESULTS:
You can read your result after 2 minutes. A blue line will appear in the Control Window indicating the test has worked.
A blue line in the Control Window and a blue line in the Result Window indicates a positive result.
I think I held it down there for about half an hour. Well, as long as it took for LT to get to the 5 SECONDS ONLY part as he was reading the directions aloud. There were two blue lines before I could even get the cap back on.
I set it on the counter.
“There are two blue lines.”
It didn’t come as a complete shock to me. I had spent all day online looking up my symptoms. I already knew that if we were pregnant, the baby was 2 millimeters long, thanks to Parents Connect. To the Lieutenant, however, it came as a bit of a shock. Okay, we were both shocked and terrified, but he hadn’t been extra hormonal and craving fried food and chocolate—two foods I very rarely eat—like I had been.
“Maybe it was wrong. Maybe I didn’t do it right. I…er…didn’t hold it in a downright direction?”
Thankfully the Lieutenant was able to sleep that night. I sure didn’t. I was awake before him at 3:40 and didn’t go back to sleep after he left at 6 that morning. I took another test, counting EXACTLY 5 seconds. It actually took “2 to 5 minutes” to show the results that time. Still positive. So I figured I would cope with being an unprepared mother by preparing myself—eating healthy food (and a ton of chocolate), reading up on pregnancy, creating an interactive website of all my favorite baby names…
We had prayed that God would give us children in His timing, not ours. Yet we also figured that He would give us children when we were ready, and boy, did we not feel ready. Still, if we had waited until then, maybe we never would have had children. And we both agreed that having children earlier than expected was better than not having the ability to have children. We are still scared, but also excited, and we are entirely blessed.
So Lieutenant and I are making way for Little Champ, our honeymoon baby. God help us.