How the OB stole birth: a poem

A like-minded friend of mine sent me this link. It is a parody of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” It is a quality satire.

Because I respect other bloggers and her post isn’t something you can summarize, I’d like you to read the post in its natural habitat, on her blog. Here is the link: http://www.themidwifenextdoor.com/?p=1341

I am very thankful that my OBs—most of them, anyway, I did meet a grinch in triage who said I wouldn’t have a choice of how to birth, that they would definitely induce me because my water broke. Never listen to scoffers.—Anyway, that most of the OBs and nurses let me give birth without interventions. I think it was mostly because none of them had ever seen a natural childbirth and they wanted to see if I could do it. When I did, they looked surprised, as if they thought that women were not created to give birth.

In the end, they did give me an episiotomy. Because those actually are not regulation at the Naval Hospital, but they still thought I should get one, I went ahead and agreed to it. I blame my less than efficient pushing and position, though—had I been upright, I don’t think I would have needed one. But delivering a baby upright when I hadn’t slept in 24 hours was not particularly feasible. Hopefully next time.

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