Post-Vacation Blues (and Greens)

We got back from our two-week, Colorado vacation last Tuesday. Wednesday I was vomiting like a newly impregnated businesswoman. I mean one with morning sickness. The only good thing about throwing up, I noted, is the assurance that I will never be bulimic. (There go my high ambitions of being a size -2 supermodel after my stretchmarks disappear.)

The next day I took it easy, spending my waking hours watching Arrested Development on Netflix and uploading photos onto Facebook, like this one.

Champ didn’t get sick, praise the Lord, but he has been sooo fussy. I’ll tell you why he’s fussy. His grandparents were holding and bouncing him every minute in Colorado and now he freaks out whenever we stop bouncing him or set him down. That is why he’s  fussy. Friday I went to work on my new design for the blog, and all I could draw before Champ flipped out was this masterpiece depicting Henry:

doodle del gato gordo.

Of course the time change from Mountain to ESP…EST doesn’t help. The first few nights home he was up until 2am, then slept for maybe 8 hours, then took 2 hours of naps. Sounds good to you maybe, but 4-month olds are supposed to sleep a total of like, 15 hours. 8+2=10 (let me interrupt this math lesson to bring you an episode of Sleeptalkers:)

INT. MASTER BEBROOM – MIDNIGHTISH

LT mumbles.

LT

You found a hairy puzzle.

ME

What?

LT

We’re gonna have quite a puzzle.

ME

What puzzle?

LT turns head toward ME, eyes closed, lips pursed matter-of-factly.

I am blogging in bed, sandwiched between my two favorite people. It is midnight-minus-5-minutes because our clock is 5 minutes fast. I am feeling rather victorious because Operation:Bedtime seems to be working fairly well. See, Champ sleeps with us. Yes, we co-sleep, and you can read more about it here.

But trying to get him to sleep in his crib wasn’t working, and if any one of you tells me to use the cry-it-out method, I will virtually slap you. Not that I don’t value your opinion, but I tried  it on more than one occasion, and it nearly ripped my heart out. If something makes you feel guilty, you shouldn’t do it, so I am not going to try the crying method again. Anyway, I realized that he first needed a routine before we could just leave him in his crib all night, so I changed my MO, as LT would call it. So Operation:Bedtime has a higher priority over Operation:OuttaBedIntoCrib. (Sounds like the name of a Canaanite village plundered by King David)

The plan is to wake up Champ at 9AMish, let him settle into his own nap schedule, then at 8PM turn off all the lights in the house and read him a story or two, feed him, nurse him, and put him in his crib once he is in the twilight zone. The order doesn’t matter so much to me because I don’t want him to need it to be the same way each time. Babysitters don’t like obsessive compulsive children. At least I’m sure they charge more in such cases.

Tonight went well. Champ fell asleep in the car at 8 on our way home from dinner, so we kept the lights out when we got home. He was up for a bit between 10&11, but is sleeping again. I just have to wake him up in 9 hours.

So I had better get to bed. But first I need to assess the damage in my kitchen, since I am pretty sure I heard Henry digging into his 10 lb bag of food while I was typing…

Good Monday to you all.

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