35 Weeks: Contractions aren’t fun.

Did you see what I did there? “Aren’t” is a contraction. Ha ha. Hahahaha.

Clearly this voluntary bedrest is getting to my head.

But why am I on bedrest, you ask?

Short version:
I have had contractions since yesterday. When I move, I get more. When I don’t move, I don’t get them as much.

Long version:
At around 3 pm yesterday, I started to feel a pain on my right side, above my pelvis but below my ribs, stretching from my belly button to my spine. It was a constant pain. After 3+ hours of the constant pain, a call to Labor and Delivery, and a couple internet searches, I was in Triage at the hospital.

The baby was still moving and kicking, so I wasn’t that worried about him. What I was worried about was whether I had appendicitis (the main symptom is pain in the right side, and appendicitis is the number one reason pregnant women get surgery, other than c-sections). On the way to the hospital, the pain increased significantly and felt like a muscle cramp (on top of the constant pain).

The midwife came in and hooked me up to the monitor. She told me I was having contractions. We realized that the pain in my side was likely my muscles cramping from the contractions. She didn’t know why I was having contractions so early, though, so she took some tests.

They took me off the monitors to do the exams. I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Since I was off the monitor, LT and I began timing my contractions, and they were about 8 minutes apart.

The test results came back and I had no sign of infection. Still stumped, the midwife and nurses sent me home, saying that they weren’t going to induce me (Thank God!), but that if I did naturally go into labor soon, they would not do anything to slow down the progression. They told me to drink plenty of water.

By 9 pm we were on our way home. Most of our time at the hospital was spent watching back-to-back episodes of COPS and World’s Dumbest Daredevils on TV while we waited for the results. In other words, we were not convinced that we should get cable.

I was pretty exhausted, so after a snack, an episode of Gilligan’s Island, and enough water to make me feel queasy, I went to bed.

Thankfully, the contractions did slow down. I had ones at 11:33 and 12:25, and three between 3 and 4 am (one was pretty powerful and lasted about 4 minutes), but no more until I got out of bed. I realized the contractions came after I would get up and move around.

So yes, I have been a vegetable for most of the day, getting no housework done and not being able to cook for myself. Thank goodness for a loving, patient husband!

We are hoping that this little goose keeps cooking inside me for at least 2 weeks, when I am full term. But if my weekly update is nowhere to be found, I might just be pushing this kid out, or loving on my newborn baby boy.

Other than taking it easy and drinking lots, there is not much we can do. Our bags are packed and loaded into the car for a quick exit when we need to take one.

Now that that’s done, how about we talk about the little eager stinker inside me?

Little Champ is about 5.5 pounds and 18 inches long—the length of an American Girl Doll. (LT had absolutely no idea what an American Girl Doll was. No sisters.) His liver is working and most of his development is done. He will mainly be packing on the pounds until he is born, growing at roughly one ounce per day.

My uterus was once the size of my fist. Now it is the size of a watermelon. Also, 1/6 of my blood is going to the baby. Which is one-sixth less going to my brain. Which is why I am sometimes a space cadet.

It’s time for momma to lie down again. Or eat. Something.

My next update should come on Thursday or Friday next week. Thursday I have my next appointment. If something should happen before then, I don’t know if I will be updating earlier or later than Thursday. Don’t ask me—I’ve never given birth before. I don’t really know what to expect other than to not really expect anything in particular.

This is your friendly neighborhood bewildered mother, over and out.